"""""

Thanks for your love, Blogger.

2008-05-31T20:41:00.001-05:00

TOMATOS

2008-05-29T16:48:00.004-05:00

Rejoice!

Burger King finally agrees (w/coalition of immokalee workers!) to improve wages of their tomato pickers.

"The Tyranny of Pink"

2008-05-27T21:21:00.005-05:00

Article

Excerpts...

"Pink is just the marketer's way of getting at girls' psyches," says Sue Palmer, former headteacher, literacy guru and author of the bestselling Toxic Childhood. "It's grooming them for a lifetime of consumption. Companies started marketing to very young children in the 90s, when they discovered that babies could recognise logos before the age of one."

"People think it is harmless enough," says Lyn Mikel Brown, psychologist, activist and co-author of Packaging Girlhood: Rescuing Our Daughters from Marketers' Schemes, "but we don't see the full picture. When you put all the little pink things together and see how girls' choices are narrowed, how the marketers have created desire in little girls to express their uniqueness through accessories, you realise how pernicious it is."

"Must confidence be inextricably linked with gorgeousness and glamour so young? I want my daughter to feel OK on the inevitable days when she looks like an old dishcloth, too. The message here seems to be that the way to happiness is to look gorgeous - and the same as everyone else."

[!]

Pink is not inherently bad-- no, light red is not to blame. There is some truth to this article I think.

Thankslisting

2008-05-27T10:50:00.003-05:00

is in order right now;

coffee
origami crane
woke up this morning
bring us to our feet
walking
good company last night
some hope
jogging
ice cream
juxtaposition
end of my shift

Try being wrong tomorrow and see what happens.

2008-05-25T00:34:00.006-05:00

Tonight in my kitchen, as I was making granola and accidentally slamming my head into open cabinets, I got to thinking about the great volume of things I have learned. Recently I seem to be more attentive to my growing (and yet still so inadequate!) understanding of my Creator, myself, and my brothers and sisters. Though I come to so few conclusions, I think I can be conclusive about this: The more one is willing to entertain the possibility that she could be wrong, or that her perspective could coexist harmoniously alongside another, the more she will grow and learn.

Learning, in my experience, has a lot to do with giving up my agenda of being right. I fear that the pride lurking within me only begs stagnancy, that unless I surrender to His wisdom, I might allow the many perspectives and inclinations of my human nature to take priority.

If I form a perspective on a particular social issue, for example, and someone has formed an opposing perspective on that same issue, to assume I am the correct one (allowing there could be a correct or an incorrect perspective for this example, or morever, a more ideal and less ideal, resulting from a set of agreed upon standards of measure) is to negate their abilities to develop an intelligent and rational conclusion. Certainly I do not propose to automatically yield to the opposing viewpoint-- but to entertain a loving and open-minded conversation, which may lead to conversationalist A or B changing their minds. It might be the case that no viewpoint has changed, but in the very least there will have been information and passion exchanged, and I doubt whether either participant will leave the interchange without learning something about someone else, themselves, or something much bigger than either of those.

There is always something victorious in allowing yourself to be challenged.

I think I just wrote about how people should debate. That sucks, because I feel so uncomfortable during those. The conversation was just an example. It works equally for being willing to read an article that proposes and explains something one is not a party to. I just don't think we should be so quick to assume that someone else couldn't have legitimate reasoning skills, which is what we are doing when we don't actually listen. Which is what happens when we are desperately trying to prove our point since we know everything.

Maybe? It's 2:30am. Challenge this post.

Radiohead ALL I NEED video for MTV's EXIT CAMPAIGN

2008-05-07T22:22:00.004-05:00

Getting friendly with the neighbor's cat.

2008-05-05T18:15:00.001-05:00

DSC03395
Originally uploaded by kky516

We're not joking around.

2008-05-05T18:14:00.003-05:00

DSC03227
Originally uploaded by kky516

Church in the backyard.

2008-05-05T18:14:00.001-05:00

DSC03404
Originally uploaded by kky516

Tulip time!

2008-05-05T18:13:00.001-05:00

DSC03247
Originally uploaded by kky516

Communality(we love sarah brown!)

2008-05-05T18:12:00.004-05:00

DSC03228
Originally uploaded by kky516

Ian, visiting from England, being impressed with Columbus.

2008-05-05T18:12:00.001-05:00

DSC03244
Originally uploaded by kky516

The heart of it all.

2008-05-05T18:11:00.001-05:00

DSC03060
Originally uploaded by kky516

Paul climbs.

2008-05-05T18:10:00.001-05:00

DSC03407
Originally uploaded by kky516

Crepe makers and eaters.

2008-05-05T18:08:00.002-05:00

DSC03397
Originally uploaded by kky516

Ellia September

2008-04-29T07:17:00.003-05:00

My cousin's baby! She hid from the camera...

peas climbing fences

2008-04-21T18:17:00.003-05:00

Turns out taking out the garbage is a better tactic for making friends with your neighbors than giving them fresh baked vegan cookies (which actually yielded a really friendly card...but still little interaction has been had...)

However, just an hour ago I was taking out the garbage, strolling past our lovely tulips and (hopefully) our mint, when I encountered before me a big ol' garden with two neighbors tending to it. Adam and Janelle have had some experience with gardening/farming... so I got some more advice on farming in pots. Can't wait to watch their peas climb their hand-made bamboo/string fences!

new week

2008-04-21T09:49:00.003-05:00

some
salvation in a monday
tangible 5am new
not like the tail end
of a disaster
or a subtle suffix

in my own soul

2008-04-03T11:34:00.002-05:00

"So instead of loving what you think is peace, love other men and love God above all. And instead of hating the people you think are warmakers, hate the appetites and the disorder in your own soul, which are the causes of war. If you love peace, then hate injustice, hate tyranny, hate greed--but hate these things in yourself, not in another."

[merton- new seeds of contemplation]

this woolen cloak won't fit

2008-04-03T10:05:00.004-05:00

"how can i hold this cup you gave me
half empty of full
how you have restored
and how you have drained me"

to dream of Spring

2008-04-01T08:11:00.003-05:00

At the library, checking in serials. The English Journal came today, and a poem of E.E. Cummings' was on the front:

Now i lay(with everywhere around)
me(the great dim deep sound
of rain; and of always and of nowhere)and

what a gently welcoming darkestness--

now i lay me down(in a most steep
more than music)feeling that sunlight is
(life and day are)only loaned:whereas
night is given(night and death and the rain

are given;and given is how beautifully snow)

now i lay me down to dream of (nothing
i or any somebody or you
can begin to begin to imagine)

something which nobody may keep.
now i lay me down to dream of Spring

Pentecost Project

2008-04-01T07:39:00.005-05:00

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need. (Acts 4:32-35, NIV)

Taking a look at Revolution in Jesusland this morning, I saw this:

"The Pentecost Project is an experiment towards a more true and loving economy. Recently, the U.S. Congress passed an economic stimulus package that the President then signed. Beginning in May, most Americans will receive a rebate check that they are being encouraged to go out and spend in order to stimulate America’s sagging economy.

What if, instead of becoming greater consumers, we encouraged people to move towards an even better economy, an economy of abundance? What if, instead of accumulating more stuff, we encouraged people to give things away? What if, instead of the possibility of making a down payment and opening new credit, we encouraged people to pay down their debt?"

Check it out: Pentecost Project

Additionally, just read that Dorothy's Tamar reached the new life. Interesting article linked from Catholic Anarchy.

I'm looking at a Russian periodical right now, and it contains some of the most beautiful stills of daily rural life...I'm going to imagine I'm in a field right now.

Downgrade

2008-03-31T20:15:00.004-05:00

Choosing not to attend Anathallo's show at the Grog Shop in Cleveland this past Saturday night was a poor, poor decision. I cannot say more.

Hug

2008-03-30T20:08:00.006-05:00

Tonight I drove home in the rain and when Gillian Welch sang, "For what good is my journey if I miss eternity?" and I felt how that was true.

I can climb stairs again, despite power skating. I asked my instructor to have mercy on me last week, and instead, he began the class with lunges on the boards. Needless to say, I ended up on the ice a few times. However, I refuse to succumb to the slalom drill. Must. Stretch.

Good Friday at Lockheed Martin

2008-03-28T09:48:00.002-05:00

This is what I found most moving about Shane's most recent article on God's Politics, url below.

"Being the 5 year anniversary of the bombing of Baghdad, I was asked to reflect on my Easter in Baghdad in 2003. So I did. With mom looking on, I shared how she had supported my trip. I recalled how she had learned to ache with Abraham, Mary, and the parents of children in Iraq, all of whom have had to watch their own kids face grave danger. At one point, mom said to me, "The children in Iraq are just as precious to God as you are. How can I tell you not to get too close to their suffering?" And every night she prayed–weeping, hurting, groaning with God for an end to that suffering. As I spoke, I looked out and saw her eyes filled with tears. (NOTE: It was my mom's first "protest," so even though she had tears in her eyes, she also had a mischievous smirk as she stood next to a clever banner that read: "Lockheed Martin…. Making a Killing!")"
Shane Claiborne, http://blog.beliefnet.com/godspolitics/2008/03/good-friday-at-lockheed-martin.html

2008-03-22T01:02:00.003-05:00

It's terribly true that if you push onward through the groggy feeling of 1am, you will consequently be more awake then you even were at noon earlier that day.

out of ashes

2008-03-20T23:08:00.005-05:00

Last night we marched to the statehouse for peace in inclement weather.

An elderly gentleman in front of us started singing quietly, "Where have all the flowers gone?" It was so precious, Heather and I didn't know what to do with ourselves. Heather offered the elderly woman next to him her umbrella, and the woman said smiling, "I'm not the witch of the west, I won't melt!"

Tonight Father reminds me there is hope. There's still a lot more dancing to be done.

Resurrection day is coming!

Here's to wishing we were all in Queens to eat Wendi's delicious cooking on that good day...

Additionally, shout out to Andrew, who repaired my coffee maker last week.

(Also... headed to Lexington next month for Schools for Conversion 101.)

2008-03-19T22:01:00.001-05:00

"i urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'if this isn't nice, i don't know what is.'"

Vonnegut

Just like church...

2008-03-12T21:44:00.004-05:00

A news reporter regarding the new Cincinnati IKEA:

"People were being bused from an overflow parking lot..."

Ryan: "Just like church!"

Laughter/thoughts ensue.

the "blizzard" of '08

2008-03-10T13:00:00.005-05:00

My part of good old Ohio got 20-30 inches of snow in a period of two days. It's beautiful how everything shuts down when blizzards come to town. I ended up watching several films, which is rather unusual for me. I was, for the most part, stranded. Friday night Jonathan and Robby came over and we watched Darjeeling Limited. I've been trying to see that silly movie since it came out, and... finally! "We haven't located us yet." Thank you Wes Anderson.

Saturday I spent a lot of time knitting and some time sleeping. Mary, Steve, and Mitch came over and we hiked around in the snow. It came up so high on my leg, it was like a dream. You know, a dream where cotton descends into the capital city...

We walked to the Dube from my place and afterwards we went to Mitch's to watch Once, another movie I've been trying to see for a good deal of time. I'm still on the reserve list at the library and I'm #205 or something. Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova are both incredibly beautiful. After watching, I wanted to be both Czech and Irish, as well is musically talented. Sadly, I am none of these things. Next time a blizzard settles in I will recruit a guitar-playing friend to help a sister out.

My street will probably never be plowed. If it does, my car will be even more doomed. It's probably getting what it deserves, in a way. My mother and pops and brother came to rescue me...I had to walk out to a central vein of the city so they could access me. Now I'm in the ville until they take me back tonight. It is finals week, so I am about to make flash cards (fer real) with Crayola markers. I have been wearing mostly the same thing for about a week...

My Mother Teresa book was due back to the library on Friday when the blizzard struck. Here's to overdue fines!

//Addition, about 9:45pm//
I need to study, but I'm doing very poorly with that. Don't hold it against me. Also, this is still my favorite dance video. I just watched it (because I am perpetually distracted in times of study) for the first time in maybe a year.

not much

2008-03-06T18:18:00.003-05:00

Feels good to have my dreads finally cut/conditioned away. I have thin, smooth, and straight hair, and trying to coax it into dreadlocks was the most painful waste of time. There were only four. RIP.

My coffee maker is broken, and I can't figure out why, because it turns on and lights up but just does not brew. So now I buy coffee everyday, and I hate that. Now accepting donations of repair work or a new coffee maker!

I may or may not be stalking the Catholic Workers. I'm okay with it. I'll eventually track them down at a Friday potluck and stun them with something from the Mennonite cookbook. If all else fails, feed 'em! (?...)

the rain in bombay falls on the righteous and the wrong

2008-02-28T18:41:00.004-05:00

I think that Caedmon's Call Share The Well is one of the best albums of all time. The songs are all inspired by a mixture of India, Ecuador, and... somewhere else that I'm not remembering. They're such anthems. God has been loving my soul with this music, and I feel so joyful and ready when I listen to them. Which is nice, considering. Considering that most of the time I feel incredibly not ready...

So many things have been happening, and also nothing is happening. ?

Our little house church (yet to be named... "the vigil" maybe) is going through a weird time. We started off fairly energetic, full of things to talk about all the time, and that's burning out a little. We've been going to different public church meetings every Sunday, rejoicing in the different traditions of the faith and growing/learning. We're sort of reading the Great Awakening together (book club annex to the vigil haha) and we're also scattered across town on various days of the week digging work with various brothers and sisters. We're thinking about buying a house in f-ton,... and that comes with a lot of questions and decisions. I don't know how long I'll be in this country, but definitely sense our community moving in this direction. i confess i am not always so quick to submit my plans to him. father, forgive me, for I have not believed... We are learning that we need to be family, I think. So I feel like with that paradigm shift, a transformation may occur.

we were blessed to enjoy a potluck dinner (sweet potato and black bean burritos, homemade chips, rice, couscous... mmm) with a beautiful family that just moved into the area of interest one day this week. They were so kind and taught us very much. I look forward to seeing them again. their children make me feel Father on account of they jump on the bed and have hiccups.

Empty as a tiffin...

Most of the time I feel unworthy of what is happening around me, but "he always provides sure as the sun will rise, so i sing songs of praise, because i know he keeps me in his gaze" (who else knew my name before the day I was born?) "lord help me learn how to lean on thy staff and thy rod"

Yes, the Body is designed to be family. This(I) is(am) in need of improvement.

Speaking of families, my east asian family is making plans to reunite in Yosemite this summer, and thinking about it warms the whole of my heart. They are precious to me, I may or may not demand a ten-minute group hug upon seeing them again. Perhaps that's excessive. (maybe...) If only Mother Owl could be there... (and little brother Owl? No! the whole Owl family!) We're going camping and things of this nature, and it will be so warm. The combination of all these things is just too good. "he fathers forth whose beauty is past change- Praise Him." (name that Victorian poet!)

I constantly have books due at the library, as well as books on reserve at the library. By "the library" I mean, "the libraries." I have three libraries waiting on me for things right now. Bulgakov was so good! Joey Pigg was right.

I want to go to Ghana and help Emmanuel bring babies back to the United States. I want to go to Honduras and El Salvador and serve in the orphanages. I want to go to Cameroon and help at the AIDS clinic. I want to go to TJ and love the bike parking man.

I am restless and want my way. Forgive me and deliver me, Father.

A Lenten Call to Repentance

2008-02-22T10:02:00.006-05:00

March 19 will be the fifth anniversary of the war with Iraq. In this season of Lent, we are called to lament and repent for an ongoing war that is being waged by our country, financed by our taxes, and fought by our brothers and sisters. After five years, we all lament the suffering and violence in Iraq. We mourn the nearly 4,000 Americans who have lost their lives, the tens of thousands wounded in body and mind, and the unknown hundreds of thousands of Iraqis who have died.

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel once said about the war in Vietnam: "How can I pray when I have on my conscience the awareness that I am co-responsible for the death of innocent people in Vietnam? In a free society, some are guilty, all are responsible."

Repentance means more than just being sorry. It means both admitting that the course we have been on is wrong and committing to begin walking in a new direction. Repentance has to do with transformation, and that's exactly what the U.S. church needs to break out of its conformity to the U.S. government's foreign policy of fear and war. We must pursue our future foreign policy in ways that are consistent with moral principles, wise political judgments, and international law - rejecting unilateral preemptive wars for multilateral cooperation. We need a new definition of our national security. There is a better way. The global church feels it, and the world is hungry for it.

It's finally time for the U.S. churches to find their voice for Jesus' way of peacemaking and to demonstrate—in matters of war, peace, and the critical area of conflict resolution—just who we belong to.

Jim Wallis, "A Lenten Call to Repentence" [sojo.net]

Yes, let's. As for the end (demonstrating that we belong to Jesus and thus our family and loyalty is international), how do we do this? And what will it look like to care and love for the nation (nations, depending on Iran) after this is all over? I hear people speculate often about what evacuating Iraq would look like. Is that just leaving a huge mess? (Though, in thinking we are providing aid [often by force], aren't we really just perpetuating a hierarchy of dependence and hostility?)

I certainly can't answer such questions, but I beseech the Lord to reveal His answers. I confess I know very little, but Jesus taught that "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called Sons of God," and though I know oftentimes those in the U.S. Military-Industrial Complex are referred to as "peacemakers," I cannot label them as such. The peacemaking Jesus requires is paired with mercy, meekness, a pure heart, a hunger and thirst for righteousness, a mourning, all things that cannot be equated with murder, bombing, fear, and dehumanization of our own kind, regardless of the noble and pure intentions behind such actions.

There will always be photos of U.S. soldiers caring for Iraqi children, branding them as righteous heros. I do not doubt that many people who support the war (and fight in it) are kind-hearted and believe that this will liberate Iraqis, while protecting families in the United States from violence. As for the latter, what does that say about the equality of value of human life? Are children and families of the United States persuasion more valuable, or valued more by God than those in Iraq? And for the former, is the end goal of "liberating Iraqis" from injustice, justified by our own injustices?

Perhaps now I am too far in. I have much more to learn, and I've never been particularly politically savvy, but if it's true that God doesn't withhold love to teach someone a lesson (and if we are presuming that the United States is seeking to teach Iraq a few lessons) then how can we withhold love, following the example of the Beloved? Those of us who claim to have been saved by the ultimate peacemaking effort, the death of Christ on the cross-- the nonviolent and loving response of perfect Jesus who reconciled us with the Father--imagine the consequences if Jesus responded to injustice and violence (his accusation and subsequent beating and death) like us. If this had been the case, he would not have died humbly, he would have waged war, thereby denying humanity reconciliation with God.

The only victor in war is violence.

Lord have mercy. Show me the error in my own ways, and bring Your kingdom.

fool

2008-02-11T11:00:00.000-05:00

I got so prideful last night, thinking the Lord has given me a special blessing-- so self-righteous. How dangerous.

The following seem applicable:

"It's a grave temptation-- to want to help people."

"Many young people picture themselves to be immortal, as they are well along the road of arrogance. Young bright people are even further along-- all these smart thoughts to show to others. Young, bright, idealistic people are tempted in a special way by arrogance. The ambition they have to change the world can turn into a bullying of others and a terrible habit of patronizing everyone but themselves. I wasn't all that bright, but I could write fairly good articles, and I was full of idealism, and I was a young, politically-conscious person- we thought ourselves to be liberated- and the result was a fairly swollen head."

Both from Dorothy Day: A Radical Devotion

I do not claim to be bright, but I am young (in more than one way) and this idealism usually gets me into trouble somehow.

And I do have that terrible habit. Lord have mercy.

good news to the poor

2008-02-05T10:43:00.000-05:00

"If we are to take seriously the opening sermon of Jesus at Nazareth recorded in Luke 4, his 'mission statement' in which he proclaims that 'the Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor,' there can only be one conclusion: no matter what else the gospel does in our lives, if our gospel message is not 'good news to the poor,' it is simply not the gospel of Jesus Christ."

Jim Wallis, The Great Awakening

this challenges me

2008-01-30T12:36:00.000-05:00

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/hungry-haitians-resort-to-eating-dirt/20080129175709990001?

Noteworthy

2008-01-29T10:31:00.001-05:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/27/weekinreview/27bittman.html?ref=science

Yum.

2008-01-14T17:56:00.001-05:00

Heading to the "state of the church" soon (does that introduce as many question marks into your hovering thought bubble as it does mine?) and enjoying one of my favorite food combinations: Apples and peanut butter (gracias al Dios!).

What I'm wondering is, does the Krema natural peanut butter factory downtown give tours? And if so, do said tours include peanut butter tasting? If so, I'm in, and bringing apples.

N.ever E.at S.oggy W.affles

2008-01-10T17:48:00.000-05:00

I didn't realize that half the soles of my shoes were not attached until today when I walked in the rain and through many puddles after work. It made me thankful for socks, because as uncomfortable as that was (and who am I to be comfortable?), it would have been worse if for some reason I wasn't wearing socks. Now if only I had some superglue...

ALSO this:

I was just reading in (wiki wiki) Wikipedia about gluten and how a gluten-free diet is recommended for folks with autoimmune diseases, so I then I clicked on the autoimmune disease link, and was presented with a short description of Crohn's disease (among many others). The two sentence blurb contained a reference to the possibility of Crohn's being an infectious disease (WHAT?!) and cited the bacteria MAP ("Mycobacterium avium subspecies paratuberculosis is a pathogenic bacteria in the genus Mycobacteria.[1] It is often abbreviated Map, M. paratuberculosis, or M. avium sub. paratuberculosis.") as "being suspected as a causative agent" in Crohn's! What?????! Let me add, it does note that this connection to Crohn's is controversial.

Then it says that this same Map bacteria (all Crohn's patients are destined to be cartographers, is all I can think) is what causes Johne's disease. "Johne's disease (pronounced "john-knees") is a contagious, chronic and usually fatal infection that affects primarily the small intestine of ruminants."

"Map, like most mycobacteria, is difficult to treat. It is not susceptible to anti-tuberculosis drugs (which can generally kill Mycobacterium tuberculosis), but can only be treated with a combination of antibiotics such as Rifabutin and a macrolide such as Clarithromycin. Treatment regimes can last years."

-all wiki.

I realize how so very scholarly (!) the infamous wikipedia is, but all I can say is, good thing I have hands and not hooves (as do ruminants), lest the Map do me in.

Off to look at Tim and Ginny's indoor herb garden with Mary and some hot beverages.

the worst for most is my very best

2008-01-03T19:42:00.000-05:00

It is strange that a new calendar year is so symbolic of change, of new times. This cycle is invented anyway, so what really makes Jan 1 different from Dec 31 is the same thing that made Dec 30 different from Dec 31. Oh, THE SUN and its rising!

Even so, the prospects of new beginnings excite most people, including myself. I noted recently to a friend that I had changed at least ten times within 2007, and he suggested that perhaps there are never specific points when we change, because that would mean there are points when we are not changing. What really happens is that we are continually being shaped and evolving and sometimes that's more evident than other times. I like this idea because the thought of stagnation is a scary one. Though, it sure does feel realistic on occasion.

Lord have mercy.

To do:
Seek first the kingdom.

second nola installment

2008-01-01T15:26:00.000-05:00

Family dinner night in an hour or two!
(note to self: oatmeal cookies only need to bake for 18 mins if you're adapting the recipe to be vegan)

Merry Christmas

2007-12-25T21:12:00.000-05:00

I love it when my mom sings.

"that old and rusty Cadillac that sinks into this field collecting rain"
Had a brief conversation with a friend recently about this line (ray lamontagne- empty). The beauty and melancholy at once. Christmas seems to be this way for me, as I try to detach the cultural worth of the holiday from the truth of our rejoicing on this particular day. It's weird feeling, I guess.

bit of new orleans

2007-12-22T23:44:00.000-05:00

koinonia, andrea, grace mercy
starting the mural
downtown
our welcoming
jon loved our air mattresses
walkin' down decatur
jose
further along
my gracie girl

ny

2007-12-22T22:38:00.000-05:00

makin' friends

origami tree in museum of natural history

more makin' friends

beauties wendi and ellen

outside of U.N. building

bb!

family love

wendi's crepes

it was cold

rothko

New Orleans City Hall Protest - December 20, 2007- Video 1

2007-12-21T11:16:00.001-05:00

Paul is famous now! Wait for it... (toward the end)

heart-sick

2007-12-13T16:02:00.000-05:00

JieJie made a slideshow of some photos of the previous summer. I keep watching it, and keep remembering how it all changed me. How He changed me. That's what I feel like I'm watching when I look at it. I'm watching the environment in which I became a different person. I'm seeing the people who I encountered and who left themselves all over me. I feel deeply saturated with Him, with my brothers and sisters from the summer, with the country as a whole. It feels so powerful, and all at once I want to watch it more and more and yet I also want to never watch it again-- my senses are overwhelmed, and I feel like I am overflowing with some intangible stream of nostalgia that I want so badly to grab hold of.

oh the ways of the Ancient Of Days,

((come one, come all, come enter in))

ouch.

skip wally weasel wool

2007-12-05T23:14:00.000-05:00

peridot dreams cord
unified things
and roll into
frail schemes
of abundance.
of means.

Zahra

2007-12-02T12:24:00.000-05:00

Professor Zeidan in class a few weeks ago, on discussing The Story of Zahra, by Hanan al-Shaykh, one of the most admired woman writers in the Arab world:

"Be careful. It's a profound work of literature, and profound work of literature usually leads to depression. Am I right? If I'm happy, I don't have to do anything-- I don't have to write. Happiness is a very shallow sentiment. I'm sorry, I don't want you to get depressed. I believe after reading any book you become a different person. Because I was so afraid after reading The Story of Zahra, I wanted you to be able to discuss it."

2007-11-30T12:49:00.000-05:00

I've been failing a lot in the world recently.

(hallelujah, for this is meaning less and less)

my Rabbi

2007-11-26T18:02:00.000-05:00

"what new mystery is this? in overflowing emptiness
the Invisible is seen among the shadows and the mist
before my doubting eyes the Infinite appears in time--
the Unquestionable is questioned but makes no reply!

what new mystery is this?!"

The rain is narrating the day with a ferociousness.

Drifters and Foxes

2007-11-24T22:27:00.000-05:00

One time Alex Talks wrote that her confidence would fit comfortably in a teaspoon. This particular image is what appears in my mind often when I consider how to best measure a thing. Sometimes I wonder if my confidence would be better suited in a thimble. The next thing I attempt to figure out is whether or not a thimble is smaller than a teaspoon, in measurement, or even slightly larger. One must not estimate over zealously with such delicate matters.

12 hours ago Kim and I took a 4-mile Sharon Woods walk. 12 times Jack Frost reached into our ears and squeezed our ear drums, leaving them to ache. 12 times the blond woman in the baggy navy sweatshirt ran around this same path in the duration of our stroll. 12 cats decorated the pastures of growth along the way. Perhaps 12 is only actually applicable to the first statement.

((something about putting plastic on windows))

Fox appeared tonight, clean-shaven and adorned with round tortoise-shell glasses. That voice could never belong to another soul. He was a gift as Fruit is getting harder for me. Sing songs to the One who unites.

Drifter also emerged from the darkness, and I almost choked when I realized it was him. He grew his hair but cut his beard, making him look 15 years younger. He had just hopped off a train from out west, still traveling with his red pack. It was hard on me when he left. Things were different then. The west left its mark on him, and vice versa, no doubt.

Sometimes I think writing really is inhibiting. Sometimes I think that's ludacris. Either way, the former idea seems to be reigning, because writing these days feels so forced.

/

Perhaps the best feeling is to be known. We could all use significantly more of that. We could all allow significantly more of that.

It doesn't need to be charged.

2007-11-19T22:37:00.000-05:00

I just sewed a plush cell-phone. My hope is that eventually I will replace my real one with it. It's much comfier and only has six buttons.

If you don't see numbers appear on the felt screen it is because you are squinting. Stop squinting, it's just felt. If you would only look at it plainly you would see that there were numbers there. Oh sure, they don't go "1,2,3" but they're numbers just the same, and I think if you'd just look plainly you would find that they are really quite round. Round and dialing, ring! ring! Hello, is this the Minstry of Post-it Conservation?

Let me enjoy this conversation, will you? Oh sure, you and I both know that this phone's antenna is shot and thus will not work, but why do you have to spoil my fun like that? Ring, ring!

The minister of Post-it Conservation has stepped out of the office for a cigarette and a light breeze, but would like Mart to know she has committed a serious offense!

Any contributions to her bail can be made via plush phone, dial: 3,* and wait for the prompt. We are only accepting euros due to the dollar's decreasing worth, so let the currency exchange begin.

Ring, ring!

Hey Ya - Wellington International Ukulele Orchestra

2007-11-18T22:30:00.001-05:00

This speaks for itself.

Sing songs of praise!

2007-11-18T09:51:00.000-05:00

Liberia debt cancellation!!!

"I am pleased to inform you that on November 12, 2007, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) has secured adequate pledges from member countries for the cost of the IMF's debt relief to Liberia, amounting to SDR 530 million (US$842 million) (See Press Release No. 07/254)."

Less myself

2007-11-16T14:38:00.000-05:00

Recently I underwent a crisis in which I did not feel like myself for an extended period of time, whatever that means. Today I was scrunched up in the Architecture Building during my break reading Thomas Merton's New Seeds of Contemplation (which I wholeheartedly reccommend), when I came across this particular excerpt, which I found applicable:

"In order to become myself I must cease to be what I always thought I wanted to be, and in order to find myself I must go out of myself, and in order to live I have to die. The reason for this is that I am born in selfisness and therefore my natural efforts to make myself more real and more myself, make me less real and less myself, because they revolve around a lie." (p.47)

Also, if I had the time and the rights, I would type into this text box the entirety of one of Merton's chapters. Perhaps another time when i do not plan to venture into the stacks and do not have work awaiting, I will address these other words of his that I shall withhold from you for now. Or you could check the book out of your nearest library.

Lastly, I found this funny:

"If you write only for yourself you can read what you wrote and after ten minutes you will be so disgusted you will wish that you were dead." (p.111)

I laughed audibly when I read this, because it is all too true, again and again.

And really, just Hallelujah.

Let's also be about our Father's business.

2007-11-12T10:54:00.000-05:00

Sufjan's BQE project

Billy sent me this link for the Brooklyn Academy of Music's commission of Sufjan Stevens to compose music about the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway. There is a video of the orchestra performing in the studio, but what I recommend is the interview with Sufjan (including some instrumentals)- just click "Listen to the whole show" below the video.

In other news, I taught myself how to crochet this past Saturday. It is the only thing I did the entire day until 5pm. Later at about 11 I joined a friend and we arrived very late at the salon of The Free Press. There was time enough for interesting discussion to commence, however.

Now I do not have class, in order to honor the veterans. Most of the vets I know live outside. If Drifter was still in town I would bake him something--not that baked goods are enough. God bless the veterans, God heal the veterans.

I've been thinking lately that one of the biggest deceptions manipulating the Kingdom family is indifference. Combine indifference with fear, and what have we? Not action, that's for sure. I count myself into this trickery, and plea for freedom from it. Jesus saw injustices and acted on them, turning tables upside down and causing a ruckus. We see injustices (do we?), and then pray about them (do we?), without utilizing the freedoms and wealth that have been bestowed upon us to act.

Can we pray for Father to reverse injustices, and not take any action ourselves, all the while "doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with our God" (micah 6:8)? I love prayer, its power is matched by none, but what is the true fast we are called to (Isaiah 58: "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-- when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?")? And does this not entail active pursuit? Indeed, the zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this (Is 37:32), but this does not give us liberty to sit on our couches. What is there to be scared of in turning over tables? In peaceful and creative protest and demonstration? Isn't it true that if followers of Jesus actually started living then more of them would be dying?

We are the Pharisees!

What injustices can you identify? How are you making known the voice of truth and justice? Someone is suffering, how you are sacrificing for them?

I can only see it as following in the footsteps of Truth incarnate.

sweet Lord, take away our laziness and apathy. replace it your zealous passion! motivate us to greater heights, to fulfill your purposes! we are oh so in need of you to transform us. it is your direction we desire. we surrender our fear for the sake of your kingdom, in the name of your son.

2007-11-07T17:53:00.000-05:00

[It was brought to my attention that the entry about my roomate's video game noises did not sound particularly nice. I write now to note that it was something we were joking about together, as she was sitting across from me at our table when the entry was composed. I don't even know if she plays video games.]

What can anyone say about you?

2007-11-07T15:12:00.000-05:00

The downside to working in such an expansive library is the closeness of countless texts I wish to engage with. I have a feeling as I change my major from World Literature to Social Work, I shall spend much more free time tasting new words and collections.

Just moments ago, before my shift started, I made my way through the stacks, scooping up Merton, St. Augustine, and a collection of essays from The Catholic Worker on nonviolent social change. Contributers including, but not limited to: Dorothy Day, John Cogley, Gordon Zahn, Thomas Merton, Henri Nouwen, etc.

I began Confessions by St. Augustine as I was walking up the stairs. [I've been meaning to read this for some obscene amount of time, and am only just now getting to it! Ah, but better now than tomorrow, or next year.] It already has my brain churning.

For now I reccomend Happy Are You Poor by Thomas Dubay, as I just finished it hours ago. Still picking away at To Have or To Be? by Fromm... there's just so much in it that I want to absorb... Did I ever mention Nawal el Saadawi? Please do yourself a favor and introduce yourself to Nawal.

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace...."

I have much farther to go.

Eat all of the multiples of seven!

2007-11-05T22:45:00.000-05:00

Persistent video game noises waft out of Emily's room

I detect a rowdy mixture of WOW, Oregon Trail, and Math Munchers...

Akin to the upstairs neighbors comical Cartoon Network habit.

All of this is amusing as I attempt to get a paper written.

Ellen

2007-11-03T23:35:00.000-05:00

I met Ellen in East Asia. She is studying at my university now as an International Scholar. We always have so much fun together, dear Ellen and I, eating the delicious food that she cooks (Wendi- she aaaalways makes me tudousi!), exploring campus, and discovering new English words she doesn't know like pantry, pathology, and cynicism. Sometimes we carve pumpkins, too. By sometimes, I mean one time, last Tuesday.

It figures that one of my eyes is not open.

Blood Bananas

2007-11-03T11:31:00.000-05:00

Read:

Blood Bananas

Though, I am challenged by this article, because what about the people who grow the bananas? It is the choice of those who run Chiquita to fund such violence, and there's no evidence that all the way down the Chiquita chain, banana farmers are behind this financial backing.

Ugh. Freeganism, anyone?

2007-10-29T18:58:00.000-05:00

I left for East Asia in June.
I left East Asia in August.
I do not know where I was between August 8 and October 28,
but I think I am home now.

Praise Father.

Not because it is rational...

2007-10-29T13:38:00.000-05:00

"to refuse to forgive 'thee' [the Other] is to demand more than God has demanded from 'me.'"

"We should never make our forgiveness dependent upon or conditioned by another's apology. It is presumed and unconditional. As we are subtly reminded in the example of the sinful woman in Luke's Gospel (see 7:36-50), some people crave to be pardoned but have never learned the social grace of directly asking for it. We forgive not because it is rational nor because of a person's request. We forgive simply because of the Lord and Divine Master's requirement. It is the fruit of a follower's fidelity and the most difficult footprint in which to step."

-Albert Haase, Franciscan priest, in Reflections on the Peace Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Amen.

Prone to Wander

2007-10-28T20:12:00.000-05:00

Oh to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be
Let that grace now like a fetter bind my wandering heart to thee
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.

Oh buddy.

2007-10-23T17:17:00.000-05:00

Hello, 6-Mercaptopurine, it's been a minute. Why don't you have a seat and stay for awhile.

I'm so me-centric, I need readjusted.

this is not my bike, this is the bike i ride... be!

2007-10-22T23:57:00.001-05:00

Fromm is blowing my mind even more the second time around. Which is impressive. I really want to read Marcel's "Having and Being"... but it seems as though I lack time.

"Knowledge emerges only through invention and reinvention, through the restless, impatient, continuing, hopeful inquiry [people] pursue in the world, with the world, and with each other."
Paulo Freire, Pedagogy of the Oppressed

This is coming to light. Particularly in regards to recent developments in terms of friendships and pressing issues ("Count Me In" for example). We must continue to strive toward unity and peace, always.

Sleep is foreign these days.

mewithoutYou Aaron Weiss in Amsterdam

2007-10-17T06:44:00.001-05:00

I used to watch this on a regular basis.

mental hunger

2007-10-16T17:34:00.000-05:00

I am fascinated by May Ziyada.

"Like [emergent Egyptian/Syrian women] I cry out enthusiastically and, following their model, I call for progress, understanding and the good of the nations!"

-addition a couple hours later-
I cannot focus on studying. I got distracted by Sophie Calle, french photographer, etc.

Sophie Calle leave me alone I need to learn about Huda Shaarawi.

Meanwhile, in the past ten minutes I have seen both Mary and Hoa Chi...

Been a second

2007-10-15T22:35:00.000-05:00

Originally I was going to spend the night listening to Rigoberta Manchu. Then there were fanny-pack-bike-gang plans, followed by possible pseudo-rave plans. Then there were thoughts of spending the whole night studying Arabic Feminist Lit...

Tonight after I got home from work I tried to nap. This is a new thing, I come home and, exhausted from going to class all day and then working, I try to sleep for a small bit to re-energize for the last leg of the day. It doesn't work, though, me napping. Not at all. I mostly just lay there and listen to Rosie, thinking about people and things. After this I was buckling down to some Arabic when Mary dropped by. I'm so thankful for Mary. We talked for a long time, looked at the good book, and spent some time in pr.

I'm glad that I spent my night doing only this. I feel stretched so thin between class, work, and people. It doesn't have to be this way, I just allow it to be. So then there are opportunities for grace, which I'm so thankful for.

I saw Dylan and Costello last Saturday night. Not Amos Lee, however, because he played a fifteen minute set! As Paul and I were walking into the arena, the music stopped, the lights turned on, and we asked a fellow, "is he done?" The answer was yes-- we missed it all! Costello was so great though, I really enjoyed listening to him. We decided we should have been closer for Dylan, so we did some sneaking and ended up behind the stage with a bunch of sound equipment, but ultimately decided that it was necessary to see Dylan from the front (lest we see only his shoes) so we very easily accessed the ground floor. Most of Dylan's set was from Modern Times, which was to be expected but a little bit of a bummer nonetheless. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have seen the man live, but what I wouldn't have done to hear "Blowin' in the Wind," or "All Along The Watchtower" live! We biked to and fro.

Mary brought me a photo from the Good Neighbor's picnic a couple Saturdays ago of Donnie, me, and Lenny. They look so hardcore-- especially Lenny with his spikes everywhere. I mostly just look sweaty and happy. I was, you know? There really is nothing like spending the afternoon talking to broken-and-honest-about-it brothers and sisters and getting your soulja boy dance on with street kids. I want to be surrounded by this more often-- once a week is far too little for my soul.

I should sleep. That's another thing I'm trying to do more of: sleep.

Wo xi huan wo de peng-you!

2007-09-24T21:14:00.000-05:00

Say some pr.y.rs for my brothers in East Asia

Free the Jena 6

2007-09-21T13:47:00.000-05:00

JENA IS AMERICA

I suggest reading the above article in its entirety.

Friends of Justice

And visiting this website, linked in the former article. Also, check out links on the Friends of Justice page for some other good stuff.

Eek

2007-09-21T06:48:00.001-05:00

Ow.

Clark put a few WALLS photos on facebook.

I miss this summer so much.

Ow.

It hurts.

Vanessa Carlton - Nolita Fairytale

2007-09-20T16:26:00.001-05:00

When I was home on Monday I saw this, and fell in love with the mushroom towers and umbrella-fairy around 1:15+. Check it out.

miracle grow

2007-09-18T11:24:00.000-05:00

This week has been entirely unexpected and what lies before me remains unknown. Oh... the comfort in the waiting though. This is my home!

Everyone should go to an independent pharmacist. Support Max Peoples!

Came down with a mean sinus infection yesterday. I spent the day in one place. It was funny because my Sojourners e-mail from yesterday contained a verse about God quieting the hands of the crafty or something. Guess I've been crafty...eek.

(kim sadler this next bit is for you)

Yesterday was a long day sitting in one place. The clock on the opposite wall took up half the room with its three slow motion hands, mocking my stagnant nature and elongating every tick. It became so large that I couldn't see around the monstrosity, and all the latest music videos of Kanye and Rihanna played behind it, entertaining only the ever-increasingly large keeper of time. Had I waited mere minutes longer before taking shelter in slumber, the clock surely would have consumed me, making me a part of its wooden shell and brass features. Alas, I slept, and with each REM cycle the distance between the clock and I grew. This morning, when I awoke to the tap tap of the bitty brown bird knocking on my window, the clock had shrunk to its normal size, hanging on the wall in innocence, as if prior to the moonlight I had not been its prey.

I don't know what floor I'm sleeping on tonight.

port 330 no more

2007-09-16T22:10:00.001-05:00

My Portuguese class was canceled due to low enrollment.

Due to the nearly 60,000 students who start class on Wednesday and have all scheduled prior to now, I'm left with little options.

Long story short, I'm not taking Chinese now either, the scheduling bind forced me out of that.

Starting on Wednesday looks a little dreary now. Must trust He has this for me, praise Him.

New schedule allowing me to be a full time student:
Geology
Spanish
Modern Arabic Literature

Who knows though, this may change within the next twenty-four hours.

Hmm...

2007-09-16T14:28:00.000-05:00

Micro credit in India

"What will it take for micro credit to become a mainstream mode for lending? One option is to provide other financial services similarly built around small amounts of money, such as micro insurance. There is tremendous scope to design well-adapted insurance products for the poor in the insurance sector as well; this will reduce their vulnerability to environmental influences - weather and pests - as well as diminish the risk should they - or their livestock - become ill unexpectedly. Such additional products will expand the micro finance platform, and even encourage more new directions."
Ramesh Menon

Thoughts?

Sopping

2007-09-09T00:06:00.000-05:00

Tonight was hard for numerous reasons. One being, I saw my good friend that I haven't seen in quite some time, and was largely unable to speak with him. His English is not great, and while I used to speak with him in Spanish, I now find when I go to call him my brother, I say "wo gege" and not "mi hermano." I was thankful for amigos who had not replaced their espanol with chinese, and were able to converse. Praise G-d.

And I am so antsy and restless about things that sleeping seems like an awful waste of time. But I've got to get up early tomorrow and run before I go to several different places within a short time period. So writing will wait.

But writing doesn't wait, it runs away unless you hold its hand.

I do not understand why I've got this warmth and dryness, and I gave sopping wet Jesse a hug tonight and her skin released rain water like a squeezed sponge. I never understand this, and I am ashamed that I do not do anything about it.

And all this debate about spiritual suffering tonight... what condition does that leave my response to physical suffering in?

I am very confused.

Not Charity

2007-09-08T09:07:00.000-05:00

I'm very grateful to all these organizations in the United States, especially the private and religious organizations. I appreciate the food and clothing they send. I thank them sincerely for their willingness to help, and I know they do it with great love. But I'd also like to say that this relationship–where we're dependent on the goodwill of outsiders–isn't the kind of relationship we'd like to have.... We're not going to solve our problem through handouts. Because our problem is a social one. And until we change this system, all the charity in the world won't take us out of poverty.
- Elvia Alvarado
Don't Be Afraid Gringo: A Honduran Woman Speaks from the Heart

This was the Voice in my daily Sojourner e-mail. I think about this all the time, and it leaves me confused as to what my action should be in regards to this type of charity. I am not going to be changing the problematic economic system of any country soon, so do I continue to give food and clothing? Isn't it perpetuating their problem? But if I do not, am I turning a blind eye to their need? I think it has to be some sort of combined effort. While we are providing for their more immediate needs, like food and clothing, shouldn't we also be constantly working on the root of the problem-- the system that created the impoverished downtrodden and oppressed?

My friend Paul gave me a tape of field recordings from his time in New Orleans, and the paper in which he wrapped it promoted Common Ground Collective. Common Ground Collective is a community-initiated volunteer organization that provides immediate relief as well as long-term rebuilding support for the people of New Orleans. What strikes me about this organization is their slogan, "Solidarity not Charity." I think solidarity looks more like figuring out what's wrong with the system and fixing it so that it doesn't keep people stagnant. Now I'm thinking of Muhammed Yunus microcredit..

Hmm, perhaps more on this later, I've got to be somewhere.

Meanwhile, check this out.

One of their projects is bioremediation (The Meg Perry Healthy Soil Project):

"The greater New Orleans area is home to oil and chemical industries that generate and store thousands of tons of toxic chemicals. These chemicals are stored in fuel tanks, warehouses, industries, gasoline stations, dry cleaners, auto-repair businesses, in the garage and under the kitchen sink. When hit by the floodwaters and hurricane winds of Katrina and Rita, many of these chemicals floated out of their storage locations and into adjacent neighborhoods. These toxic spills will create long-term health risks to people in contaminated areas unless soil and water are fully cleaned up so that all toxins are removed, broken down into harmless chemicals, or tightly bound so that areas are safe for our most vulnerable populations: children playing in their yards and schools, and the elderly whose physical health may be compromised."

They look to correct this with testing, remediation, and planting things that promote soil health...

[commongroundrelief.org]

salaam

And so they both hug him

2007-09-01T10:04:00.000-05:00

"So, you know, not that it's a big surprise, but if Aaron Weiss were Secretary of State, there would be no war. Only hugs."
-Billy

I, lowly thing

2007-08-31T11:49:00.000-05:00

I have a jiejie who is staying with her dad in East Asia, right now. She talked some sense into me, and I will not be taking 20 hours this fall, because I know that I cannot handle that, especially with 10 of those being two different foreign languages.

Now that jiejie has shared wisdom of a bit, I look to Father to share wisdom of the grand sort. Chinese language or Sociology minor?

And oh, He is so beautiful.

I love this:

"Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But G-d chose the foolish things of the earth to shame the wise; G-d chose the weak things of the earth to shame the strong. G-d chose the lowly things of the world, and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him."
1 Cor'nthians 1:27-29

The answer is blowin' in the wind

2007-08-28T15:30:00.000-05:00

The Peace Walkers in C-bus. Adam, mentioned two posts below, is second from the left.

They're on a different route, but both him and Jim joined them for their trek across town.

Pr for Laura

2007-08-27T22:31:00.000-05:00

G-d is going to use my old roommate to change the world.

That's why He took her to film school.

I can't wait.

Kill The Rooster Niiiice

2007-08-27T15:09:00.001-05:00

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!

yesterday there was a tornado.

2007-08-26T22:21:00.000-05:00

Well some shapes have left and now some have entered stage right, and so the new picture looks different than the old. This is confusing me a little bit but as long as I'm willing to admit that, things are not so dire and I'm left with a bit of time. As autumn is approaching, I'm also left with a bit of crunchy leaves and just enough autumn-scent to leave me pining.

Last night I went with a friend to a purple, cozy, friendly, loud, and flowery cafe on the same street we started the night out on. At the beginning of our venture into tea & coffee time we met a guy named Adam, who was not lacking in Xylitol gum at the time. As we were departing, I ran into him again and while my friend struck up a conversation with another peng-you in the area, I became curious with Adam's presence and life. When asked, "What do you do?" which is the poorest question one could ask upon meeting someone (though the answer may contain a bucket of interesting to analyze), he explained to me that he was, actually, walking across the United States on foot.

It seems as though God called Adam to leave all possessions at home (including ID) and to trek across the land of the free, loving God and people all the way there. Adam has been walking approximately 30-40 miles a day. God also prompted a guy named Jim to do this, and while Adam started out in New York with a Californian destination, Jim started in Chicago, destination: New York & eventually Jerusalem. They both departed the same day, and ran into eachother outside of Columbus.

We walked with them around the city for a few hours before I departed from them at 4am to sleep a little bit. They slept at my friends house and today after service I went there to see them again and eat lunch with them.

They should be on their respective ways now...

Tomorrow I pick up a minor in Sociology? We'll see.

Pra.se G-d for peng-yous who are passionate, inspired, and awake. It was a bl.ss.ng to see Mary last night-- I had missed her kindred spirit very much. Also, new friends that go go go... they inspire me. Hello active mind, it's been awhile...

Yes

2007-08-22T08:15:00.001-05:00

The Church should proclaim its concept of God, as it has come to know God through Christ, to all people in society, including Muslims and Jews. This should be done unashamedly and uncompromisingly. The Church should insist on what God is really like - not in a spirit of superiority or condescension, but in humility and love. The Church must be conscious of its own failure in not living up to the responsibility of the knowledge of God that it has been given. It has not attained perfection, but still seeks a deeper understanding of God in Christ. It is not so much the Church that possesses the truth; rather, the truth in Christ has possessed the Church.
- Naim Ateek

from Justice, and Only Justice: A Palestinian Theology of Liberation

robot not

2007-08-20T10:15:00.000-05:00

i felt things just now

softening

[the world spins madly on]

2007-08-20T07:06:00.001-05:00

If you live alone, whose feet will you wash?

- Saint Basil

august 07

2007-08-19T00:46:00.001-05:00

if i make the photo smaller it would fit within this column. but why would i make this photo smaller? if anything, it should be bigger.

Guitar, suitcase, and a warm coat

2007-08-18T14:01:00.000-05:00

Well this is awkward. I forgot that in my bedroom at home I can hear most things that are said in the kitchen and in the garage. Ouch.

Laura moved out.

Mr. Coffee broke.

Junk's everywhere.

None of these things actually matter.

Meanwhile, the Weepies are going to be on repeat for awhile. One of their songs is round in the way I need it to be for the things that happen.

2007-08-17T12:42:00.000-05:00

"i wonder what would happen if a chinese mosquito met an american mosquito? would there be cultural differences? maybe they prefer different blood types?"

oh wendi.

Also, Psalm 139

2007-08-16T09:18:00.001-05:00

Hardest question for me to answer: How was *East Asia*?

Here I sit, at the library. I love libraries, just as much as I love airports. I don't like airports much when I am leaving a place where I have grown immensely, but I suppose there are exceptions to most rules. I'm not sure I like or agree with that, that there are exceptions to most rules, but I'm not sure what I like or agree with about most things these days.

I have had to face a few struggles since I have been back that were largely absent while I was abroad. It's nice to escape readable advertising for a time, I'd suggest it to all of you. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, the end.

Children are usually quite beautiful, but none so beautiful as the ones clutching books twice the size of them, eagerly anticipating their contents. I'm beginning to love Children's Literature more all the time, and thinking about creating some. I'm not sure what's stopping me other than time.

I should stop thinking about what I dislike about here and now. Is that not allowing the enemy to have a bit of me? The Sovereign has delivered me to this place and this time, and to yearn otherwise is not pra.se. Turning this yearning for that place into pr.y.r for that place, that's more evident of awe. G-d, create in me a perpetual state of awe.

Remember how there's no better sermon than the sun?

Direct me to the fulfilling of Your purpose today, in this town where You have created space for me, in the moments You have ordained.

hami melon on a stick

2007-08-12T23:45:00.000-05:00

2007-08-12T23:29:00.000-05:00

2007-08-12T23:25:00.000-05:00

meet rachel

See you in August

2007-06-27T12:48:00.000-05:00

Packing today, leaving tomorrow morning.

I must obey G-d rather than man if I'm in awe.
And I am in awe.

So here I go.

Season me

2007-06-23T00:22:00.001-05:00

Today I had coffee with Paige,
followed by a mean game of kickball
with beautiful people in my favorite park.

I got a run for Team The Oil-Wells.

I went to Ryder's and mostly talked with
Robby, Francine, and Alan. Mostly the first two
from the beginning, and our conversation consisted only of
d-coms, but also briefly of minimalist composers, and
the death of creating classical music. Also, did I mention
Vladimir Putin? But as Robby was around, of course
Putin's name was dropped more than once.
Also, Vladimir Putin vs. Ted Nugent? Mostly
the night was comical.

Alan sat on a tire stack next to me and talked about
China. It made me less nervous.

I have to cling to Him absolutely. Nothing else will remain so consistent, so bold and so certain, as to His being and His loving. May I always remain a recipient, may I always humbly bow-- as I'm certain I would cease to exist without this life-source. More and more these days I'm reminded how limited my capacities are, indeed, how I am not good for much on my own. May I always dance and be found by holy joy in these times, as my weakness permits His rescue. Perhaps I got that backwards...for does His graceful rescue not permit my perpetual and inevitable weakness? And ah, here lies room for transformation!

"if ever you come near I'll hold up high a mirror,

2007-06-22T13:46:00.000-05:00

Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as you."

Aaron Weiss, mewithoutYou

Last night I headed up to Cleveland's Grog Shop, the same Cleveland venue where I saw Anathallo last winter. Last night's show worthy of the trek from central Ohio was mewithoutYou. While standing in line for the show Billy spotted our friend Mark. We met Mark in Kent, OH, at a psalters show. Turns out another friend we met at that show were there also, Steve. We joined up with Mark, Steve, Cara, Rob, and some others and enjoyed ourselves at Que Tal?, an independently-owned chipotle-esque restaurant in the area. Steve told me about what's been happening at The Simple Way this week. I hadn't checked their website in bit and apparently it was due time.

In short, there was a huge fire that destroyed the Simple Way Community Center, along with many other houses in the neighborhood and cars. Many people have lost everything. It is a good opportunity to pray for the famlies of Potter St, H St, etc. as well as The Simple Way, that God would provide for them, and that this would point to Jesus and our need for Him above material possessions and even shelter. To read more or make a donation to the community or the neighbors click the link titled "The Simple Way" in my links section (scroll down a bit and it's on your right).

After good conversation we returned to the Grog Shop and heard Manchester Orchestra and Piebald before mewithoutYou. They were both talented for their respective genres, but what I liked most was the lead singer of Piebald getting on the shoulders of another band mate and wailing on his guitar over the crowd. I was happy when mewithoutYou bumbled onto the stage. Aside from their music being a glorious and tumultuous spiritual journey, I namely went to hear "In A Sweater Poorly Knit" performed live. If I didn't indulge in their particular style of music, I could still appreciate them for the poetry they put to page:

"A fish swims through the sea,
while the sea is in a certain sense
contained within the fish!
Ah, what am I to think
of what the writings of a thousand lifetimes
could not explain
if all the forest trees were pens
and all the oceans ink?"

The mewithoutYou mosh pit was the most intense I've ever been in. It wasn't even a mosh pit. There was less moshing/hardcore-ing and more violent-bone-crushing-sways. I've experienced my fair share of such movement at shows, but the ebb and flow of such a crowd has never been so powerful as to sway me backward so far that the people in front of me weighed me to the ground. After the pressure landed me there, countless individuals faced the same plight-- on top of me. All around me also. People were just piling up and stepping all over me. I heard the music from a distance thinking, "Of all the shows I could get trampled to death at I never would have pegged it as a mewithoutYou show, is this possible?" Also, "Does the band realize that 1/2 of the crowd is horizontal?"

I watched people get pulled up all around me and finally I was the only one remaining. Some kid behind me grabbed my arms and pulled me up, asking if I was okay. I'm not sure if I answered, I mostly adjusted to the new coordinates I consumed.

Somehow, after I was standing, Billy ended up next to me and after getting sufficient bruising (mind you, I'm not complaining about this, I'm actually a sucker for so-passionate-we-move-and-don't-stop shows and fully expect it) we fought our way out of the pit to the tune of "O'porcupine!"

Apparently this was a good time to leave, because the lyrics actually go:

"while in my little world...
a speckled bird humbly inspired
ran across the road when it could have flown
and it made me smile"

But Aaron sang it like this:
"while in my little world...
people might be getting crushed.
Really, are you guys okay,
Maybe you should slow down."

Ah, yes, well anyway, I'm thankful for good friends from different places & for lyric & for the various means I have to these things & for the reason to do all things, to partake in and find joy in these things...

Ow

2007-06-19T15:31:00.000-05:00

All pr.y.r is greatly appreciated...

Vote Pablo Neruda

2007-06-17T23:04:00.001-05:00

"No one can claim the name of Pedro,
nobody is Rosa or Maria,
all of us are dust or sand,
all of us are rain under rain.
They have spoken to me of Venezuelas,
of Chiles and of Paraguays;
I have no idea what they are saying.
I know only the skin of the earth
and I know it is without a name."

I do not exist

2007-06-17T22:01:00.000-05:00

"Give me the strength that waits upon You in silence and peace. Give me humility in which alone is rest, and deliver me from pride which is the heaviest of burdens. And possess my whole heart and soul with the simplicity of love. Occupy my whole life with the one thought and the one desire of love, that I may love not for the sake of merit, not for the sake of perfection, not for the sake of virtue, not for the sake of sanctity, but for You alone.

For there is only one thing that can satisfy love and reward it, and that is You alone."

Thomas Merton in New Seeds of Contemplation

Then I looked down at the rumply brown linen shirt in my laundry basket and thought-- how beautiful.