I'll undergo a surgery to purge me of this lonely mood

Today in church I sat behind a man with short dark hair wearing a very specific shade of periwinkle blue collared shirt, over which he adorned a charcoal gray sweater; collar tucked in. Now, the reason I found this odd was that there was an extremely similar looking man sitting directly in front of him wearing the exact same thing. I'd almost venture to say the shirts and sweaters had to of been the same brand. They weren't talking and didn't seem to know each other, so I guess it just made me curious. Last week there were many people wearing the same "Got group?" sticker. Is this another sort of life group camaraderie exhibit? Or was that just complete craziness? I mean, it had to have been planned...

I've always known that humor is not my strong suit, however it's becoming painfully clear to me this past week or so that were I not to spend my time with such witty and funny people, I would be so ridiculously dry and void of the continuous chuckle my friends seem to bring. I'm not sure how this happened, but I really think that the only humor I bring to the table is that which results from my out of place and awkward nature. Sure, I'll come up with a clever pun every now and then, but other than that, I've got nothing. Really, it's quite amazing that I'm friends with such funny people. Maybe they like having me around because I laugh easily and am ready to receive and respond to amusement at any given moment. I'm hoping that if I continue to befriend people that succeed in such hilarity it'll rub off on me.

God put a specific song on the radio just for me last night and this morning. Quite possibly my favorite song that isn't usually played. Jars of Clay- I Want to Fall in Love With You. My screen name comes from my favorite line in the song. Anyway, He put it on there for me twice in less than 24 hours on The River, when I rarely listen to the radio at all. (I usually opt for CDs...) I'm backing the thought that He knew I was listening to 104.9 and wanted me to listen to the lyrics. I did and pretty much broke down. I love my Jesus and obviously sometimes stray from the path of righteousness. He faithfully brings me back and reminds me what's really important when I am nothing short of a fool. Thank you my forgiving Lord.

So, Jars of Clay sings this other song called "Faith Like a Child" or maybe it's just called "Like a Child." I'm not entirely positive of which title is the right one. I guess that's not the point though. What I'm trying to say is, I love this song, and I was cleaning my car of it's grossness the other day and came across an older issue of Relevant Magazine. Well, not old but not recent. The July/August 2004 issue. It contains a short article in the "Deeper Walk" section about having faith like a child. It's simple and I love it. I feel like teachings on it aren't a rarity but it seems to come from a different perspective. By Brandon Smith of Nebraska, here's an excerpt:

"My daughter, in all her wisdom as an infant, has taught me more about this startling truth than any preacher doing his thing on Sunday morning. When life becomes too much for her to handle, Eden cries. She yells out for help. Although she can't choose words to express her frustration, discomfort, or anger, she knows when she raises her voice, she is answered.

Where, in the course of growing up, do we lose this sense of dependence? When does it suddenly become okay to try to handle life on our own? We, as Christ-followers, must remember that we don't have to live by our own might. Life is hard. The words of King David must become ours: 'In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help' (Psalm 18:6).

Jesus' teachings regarding little children were revolutionary in the time and culture in which He walked the land. But Jesus was merely revealing to us the truth about ourselves. He understood that we have grown up too fast. We have sacrificed a child-like faith for 'maturity.'

Eden, in her nines months of life, has taught me the beauty of being a child. She has reminded me of Jesus' desire for children of the King to cry out to our Father, to climb into His open arms and to embrace innocence in a scary world."

Romans 8:25-17 (particularly from The Message) is a cool reinforcement of that article.

Okay, I've got to seriously do something I've been procrastinating, and "not getting around to" for a couple of months. Yeah, this time I actually AM doing the college scholarship applications thing. 'Cause the deadline is March 1st and I'll be darned if I wait until the last day of February to get this finished.

Adios.

(If it hurts, kiss it better.)
(It seems to get much colder when you cry on your own shoulder.)