Make sure every hint of sarcasm is duly noted

I am absolutely thrilled that apparently sometime over the weekend with my various encounters with nature I became in contact with ivy of the poisonous sort.

I love that I am itchy and I have poison ivy on my arms and legs.

I think it's great that tomorrow I am inducting a lovely individual (okay, no sarcasm there) into NHS and I will be perfectly capable of sitting still and not making a scene out of my absurd amounts of itchiness.

I'm glad that I can be positive of the fact that I will not scratch the skin off of my body.

This is going to be good, kids.