Goal

Sleep less, study more.

[EDIT]
Because Emily so sweetly sounded concerned about this goal of mine, I decided to elaborate on the issue. As of now, I sleep too much, leaving me tired, and do not study enough, because this quarter there was a breakthrough in not chasing perfect grades at the expense of many things. Haha. So, because of this, actually spending less time sleeping and more time studying is very reasonable, and will perhaps just even me out to a steady and normal amount.

he thought ezinma should have been a boy

Today was more chilly than the Dry Cleaners led me to believe. Their open doors told me I'd not need a pair of gloves, and a that a hat, though unnecessary, might not hurt. Trusting their open doors as my thermometer, as I always do, I trekked across campus today with no gloves. Fearing the inability of my coffee to hover before me without being physically held I had no choice but to keep one hand out of pocket, sporting my beverage while unprotected from the elements. The elements namely being the cold wind and brief snow, if I can count these things as such. I then maintained an alternation of the carrying hand, though it should be noted that my left hand has been dumbed down over the years by my right hand's grand efficiency in writing and carrying things. I think I wanted to be ambidextrous when I was younger (in fact, I'd like that now), but I have accidentally conditioned my left hand to be inept at the simplest of tasks. I suppose I'm not being fair, since this seems to lead up to a story on my left hand dropping my coffee, but no such accident occurred. My left hand fulfilled its duty as carrier and I should perhaps give it more credit than I currently do. I don't know why I keep writing like my left hand is autonomous.

I can't wait to get my hands on a large chunk of time to get rid of everything in my room. By this I mean, find another owner/location/purpose for everything I don't use and clean what I do. With the schedule these days and living here a year and a half now I've let things grow wild. Not wild like grass, mind you. I'm hoping I have not cultivated any sort of biological growth in my closet... Wild like a thrown deck of cards, instead (unorganized). Also the roomate did such a thing to her room last weekend when I was writing my Tuhami paper and inspired me.

Jackie and I might be going to Chicago for a couple days over Spring Break. Hopefully if we do we can manage to get our hands on some good bread and natural peanut butter to sustain us for the week, also a plastic knife from somewhere. Of course this all depends on Eva's schedule and her willingness to let us sleep on her floor for a couple days, so we'll see. Vineyard is continually taking people down to New Orleans I think, I wonder how far in advance you have to hop on that list. If I'm not going to drive and see beautiful people like Eva and Hannah I might as well make myself useful. Yes, please!

I wonder how long a drive it is to New Mexico. I haven't seen Uncle Jay for years.

Meanwhile, I'm reading a fantastic prayerbook called, "Seek God For The City 2007." It's basically a devotional for the forty days (or three million and something seconds) of Lent. It has much more of a wide lens than others I've read, and I can really appreciate that in the seeking it inspires.

Haha, last night I was able to spend some time with my family [Happy Birthday, Dad!] and they are silly and good. Also, every now and then my Mom and I get to spend time listening to good music. She now very much enjoys Anathallo, as well as mewithoutYou. The latter surprises me, but I'm not sure I know of too many people who can resist the charm of their video for "Nice & Blue (pt. 2)."

Did I ever mention that I had a dream that Vincent Crapanzano, the anthropologist, facebooked me?

I really ought to consider doing something else now.

me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, you

I probably think 10 times more about myself every minute than others. Change me, Creator Perfect.

(going out over 30,000 fathoms of water)

It is 7:09am and at about 7:00am I got home. Traveled to Indiana Wesleyan to see Anathallo. The show started at approximately 1am, maybe a quarter before. Fantastic show, finished the night [morning] with Kasa No Hone, and I think that does a good job of reflecting the quality of their performance. I wish my friend Connor could have joined us!

I shall now prepare for the day. 70E found me in slumber, thanks to the willingness of friends to take the burden of the night-drive, and while it was only a couple hours total, I think I would only be hurting myself to catch another hour... that and my eyes maybe won't shut.

[edit: turns out my eyes did shut.]

even at our swiftest speed

Yesterday morning a girl returned from Kenya shared this bit:

"Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

'My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.'

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size-- abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become."

[2Corinthians 12:7-10, MSG]

Mmmmm. Read it again and again.

Eep

Leafing through a notebook of mine that has wonderful specks of things I read or hear, I re-stumbled across this from when I was reading Milton's Paradise Lost, and how beautiful it was:

"What better can we do, than to the place
Repairing where he judg'd us, prostrate fall
Before him reverent, and there confess
Humbly our faults, and pardon beg, with tears
Watering the ground..."
X, 1086-1090

When The Storm Is Over

Just about everyday I get an e-mail from my African Lit professor. He often sends us poems he has just written, or poems he has written in the past that are relevant to what is going on in our lives somehow. This is an e-mail from brother Padmore today, I felt it worthy of sharing:



Folks,

you are all in my thoughts but just busy thinking of too many things. Bear with me.



WHEN THE STORM IS OVER
by Padmore Agbemabiese



when the storm is over
those who took us for what we are
will live to rejoice with us
what they never knew we were
and those who rejected us for what we were
will live to tell their friends
what good it was they missed in us



and when the storm crosses over
those who despised our huts
will miss a world of fortune
given only to kings and queens
and those who derided the slippers we wore today
will announce to their friends
how well new shoes fit onto our feet



some day, when this storm is over
those who refused the embrace of our short arms
will live to tell the world how much love
radiated from the short hugs we gave
and those who believed only because they saw
will tell generations the near-misses they bagged
just for striving to see contents before boxes



and when finally the storm settles down

the wisdom of the ancients
that always lay beneath the earth
that to the world is unseen shall manifest

there we shall dance to rhythms unfathomed

walk with verve and agility weaving intricacies

between our feet and our upper torsos

there, 'those who took away our songs’

will remember they couldn't ‘take away our voice’



and when the story shall be told

names never mentioned at the King’s table

nor decorated with diadems shall rise

we shall marvel with dry lips

and wonder with our bald heads at Truth

and those who despised our huts

and refused the embrace of our short arms

will weep when we dine with the King all night long


Warm regards

Padmore Enyonam Agbemabiese

Drop a bell down the stairs.

This is why I'm not driving to class today:

The following photos are behind the scenes of the latest television hit, "The Church Office"

(Rebuild! Restore! Reconsider!)

Sufjan and band. Sufjan and Anathallo in the same show= show of a lifetime, occurring late March. Sold out, but you could maybe track down a ticket or two if you are cunning like a cat or canary.

Architecture in Helsinki. It's just a good photo. Also, a good deal of my friends don't appreciate Architecture, so I thought I'd show them what they were missing.

[photos from amadeeeep.livejournal.com--great source for fantastic live show photos]

Tonight at the Opplinger's I had this wonderful mint tea that took me back to that Moroccan restaurant in Chicago...

I've got some snow here.

"I feed the pigeons and sometimes feed the sparrows too, which gives me a sense of enormous well being"

I've got so much to do tonight, it's atrocious I'm spending even a second typing this. This is irresponsibility at its best. I am maybe going to hike to the nearest library. Highlight "hike" in that previous sentence, as that is not normally a necessity. In this weather, however, I've got no choice but to do just that.

It looks like glitter in the orange glow.

One Degree

It is one degree outside, and the high school nearest me is not in session.

Current pieces of literature I am reading/have read and am studying:
Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
Tuhami: Portrait of a Moroccan, by Vincent Crapanzano
Anna Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy
Reading Lolita in Tehran, by Azar Nafisi (Yes, I started this long ago, but I lost track of it. I found it and am continuing to pursue it.)
So Long A Letter, by Mariama Ba


I am having trouble containing myself until I get to these:
To Have or To Be, by Erich Fromm
Confessions, by St. Augustine
Bird Songs of the Mesozoic, by David Brendan Hopes
My Sister's Keeper, by Jodi Piccoult
Happy Are You Poor: The Simple Life and Spiritual Freedom, by Thomas Dubay

I am stopping myself because this really is just accomplishing what I've been meaning to get to for quite some time. A list. I just need a list to follow in order. I need this in hard copy form, and probably will not get around to making it for a bit.

One degree. I should start my car.

Make me an instrument of your peace

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me snow love,
Where there is injury, pardon,
Where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much
seek to be consoled as to console,
not so much to be understood as to understand,
not so much to be loved, as to love,
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
it is in dying that we awake to eternal life.

St. Francis of Assisi

Unnecessary

Suspend your knowledge of responsible stewardship of finances for a moment, and dream with me about how amazing it would be right this minute to have speakers the height of my walls connecting to Ivan the iBook blasting Joanna Newsom.

Okay I'm done.

Okay.