See you in August

Packing today, leaving tomorrow morning.

I must obey G-d rather than man if I'm in awe.
And I am in awe.

So here I go.

Season me

Today I had coffee with Paige,
followed by a mean game of kickball
with beautiful people in my favorite park.

I got a run for Team The Oil-Wells.

I went to Ryder's and mostly talked with
Robby, Francine, and Alan. Mostly the first two
from the beginning, and our conversation consisted only of
d-coms, but also briefly of minimalist composers, and
the death of creating classical music. Also, did I mention
Vladimir Putin? But as Robby was around, of course
Putin's name was dropped more than once.
Also, Vladimir Putin vs. Ted Nugent? Mostly
the night was comical.

Alan sat on a tire stack next to me and talked about
China. It made me less nervous.

I have to cling to Him absolutely. Nothing else will remain so consistent, so bold and so certain, as to His being and His loving. May I always remain a recipient, may I always humbly bow-- as I'm certain I would cease to exist without this life-source. More and more these days I'm reminded how limited my capacities are, indeed, how I am not good for much on my own. May I always dance and be found by holy joy in these times, as my weakness permits His rescue. Perhaps I got that backwards...for does His graceful rescue not permit my perpetual and inevitable weakness? And ah, here lies room for transformation!

"if ever you come near I'll hold up high a mirror,

Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as you."


Aaron Weiss, mewithoutYou

Last night I headed up to Cleveland's Grog Shop, the same Cleveland venue where I saw Anathallo last winter. Last night's show worthy of the trek from central Ohio was mewithoutYou. While standing in line for the show Billy spotted our friend Mark. We met Mark in Kent, OH, at a psalters show. Turns out another friend we met at that show were there also, Steve. We joined up with Mark, Steve, Cara, Rob, and some others and enjoyed ourselves at Que Tal?, an independently-owned chipotle-esque restaurant in the area. Steve told me about what's been happening at The Simple Way this week. I hadn't checked their website in bit and apparently it was due time.

In short, there was a huge fire that destroyed the Simple Way Community Center, along with many other houses in the neighborhood and cars. Many people have lost everything. It is a good opportunity to pray for the famlies of Potter St, H St, etc. as well as The Simple Way, that God would provide for them, and that this would point to Jesus and our need for Him above material possessions and even shelter. To read more or make a donation to the community or the neighbors click the link titled "The Simple Way" in my links section (scroll down a bit and it's on your right).

After good conversation we returned to the Grog Shop and heard Manchester Orchestra and Piebald before mewithoutYou. They were both talented for their respective genres, but what I liked most was the lead singer of Piebald getting on the shoulders of another band mate and wailing on his guitar over the crowd. I was happy when mewithoutYou bumbled onto the stage. Aside from their music being a glorious and tumultuous spiritual journey, I namely went to hear "In A Sweater Poorly Knit" performed live. If I didn't indulge in their particular style of music, I could still appreciate them for the poetry they put to page:



"A fish swims through the sea,
while the sea is in a certain sense
contained within the fish!
Ah, what am I to think
of what the writings of a thousand lifetimes
could not explain
if all the forest trees were pens
and all the oceans ink?"


The mewithoutYou mosh pit was the most intense I've ever been in. It wasn't even a mosh pit. There was less moshing/hardcore-ing and more violent-bone-crushing-sways. I've experienced my fair share of such movement at shows, but the ebb and flow of such a crowd has never been so powerful as to sway me backward so far that the people in front of me weighed me to the ground. After the pressure landed me there, countless individuals faced the same plight-- on top of me. All around me also. People were just piling up and stepping all over me. I heard the music from a distance thinking, "Of all the shows I could get trampled to death at I never would have pegged it as a mewithoutYou show, is this possible?" Also, "Does the band realize that 1/2 of the crowd is horizontal?"

I watched people get pulled up all around me and finally I was the only one remaining. Some kid behind me grabbed my arms and pulled me up, asking if I was okay. I'm not sure if I answered, I mostly adjusted to the new coordinates I consumed.

Somehow, after I was standing, Billy ended up next to me and after getting sufficient bruising (mind you, I'm not complaining about this, I'm actually a sucker for so-passionate-we-move-and-don't-stop shows and fully expect it) we fought our way out of the pit to the tune of "O'porcupine!"

Apparently this was a good time to leave, because the lyrics actually go:

"while in my little world...
a speckled bird humbly inspired
ran across the road when it could have flown
and it made me smile"

But Aaron sang it like this:
"while in my little world...
people might be getting crushed.
Really, are you guys okay,
Maybe you should slow down."

Ah, yes, well anyway, I'm thankful for good friends from different places & for lyric & for the various means I have to these things & for the reason to do all things, to partake in and find joy in these things...

Ow

All pr.y.r is greatly appreciated...

Vote Pablo Neruda

"No one can claim the name of Pedro,
nobody is Rosa or Maria,
all of us are dust or sand,
all of us are rain under rain.
They have spoken to me of Venezuelas,
of Chiles and of Paraguays;
I have no idea what they are saying.
I know only the skin of the earth
and I know it is without a name."

I do not exist

"Give me the strength that waits upon You in silence and peace. Give me humility in which alone is rest, and deliver me from pride which is the heaviest of burdens. And possess my whole heart and soul with the simplicity of love. Occupy my whole life with the one thought and the one desire of love, that I may love not for the sake of merit, not for the sake of perfection, not for the sake of virtue, not for the sake of sanctity, but for You alone.

For there is only one thing that can satisfy love and reward it, and that is You alone."

Thomas Merton in New Seeds of Contemplation


Then I looked down at the rumply brown linen shirt in my laundry basket and thought-- how beautiful.

Lousy citizen

Last Wednesday's local town paper contained a letter to the editor about bicyclists not adhering to the same laws cars do, as, in this woman's opinion, they ought to. I felt ashamed reading the article, like she perhaps had a photo of me breaking traffic laws. This guilt was good indication that I am at fault. The reason this all comes to mind is that this morning, while biking to the library, I ended up in the street because of a man power-washing his sidewalk outside of his shop. I generally avoid biking in the street on this particular roadway-- I opt for the sidewalk in attempt to aid the drivers safety in not swerving aroud the narrow and busy area. In my sudden forced entrance onto the street I found myself riding in between oncoming traffic and parked cars....

All I thought about was that article.

Thank you and Goodnight

I feel very restless. I just boated, followed by docking on some shore and exploring a few abandoned buildings in the middle of the creepy woods with 16ish people. After that Sonya and I walked a good bit.

I need to shake out this being awake. I don't remember the last time I felt awake at night. I'm going to shower, make tea, and then write on the loft while looking out onto the street.

I feel, these days, like I have to spend ample time on my loft writing and generally appreciating the view, because once I get back from the motherland I'm going to have to move out fairly quickly.

Wings

I just bought big plane tickets.

Biblioteca de Kelly

Now that SP 07 is finished, my lit books are available for loan! Don't all you ask me to read Rashid al-Daif's Passage To Dusk at once, now.

Also, if you are interested in having The Plague by Camus in your collection, or if you just want to read it, let me know! I'm glad I read it, but it's not necessarily a piece I want to hold on to. In other words, I know in the future I won't think of something from it and sprint to my bookcase for reference.

First ever lomographs...

As you can see I took these in a variety of locations. Included were: The Pasternack's backyard, OSU campus, my apartment, the pantry on 5th, and Caribou Coffee, where the lighting was better than any of the other locations, yielding arguably the best colors out of all the shots I got.

I have some focus issues to work out. It's more an issue of estimations than focus. You see, I have to set the focus before every photo, but it doesn't show in the viewfinder, so I have to estimate how far away the object I need in focus is. Well, if you know me, you know I'm terrible at estimating anything. Ages, sizes, lengths, etc.

I'll get better on my next roll of film, hopefully. Meanwhile, to see some good lomography, see www.lomography.com

Realizations

Sometimes you realize things, such as but not limited to:

-After a few weeks of wearing this sweatshirt, I ought to wash it.

-It never changes that everything said or heard while lying on the floor is hilarious or deep, when while vertical it simply would not have been. For reference, watch Dawson's Creek or talk to Laura Wetzel.

-Biking to Meijer to get groceries will never not be a good idea.

-The last day of class/exams is always liberating, and to celebrate this, you should always listen to a song with a triumphant chorus. ie Mr. November by The National

Neck Pains

Last night as I was crawling into my comfortable bed, I thought back to the first few times I met with the great outdoorsman of Columbus, commonly referred to as "the homeless." I thought of how horrible I felt going to sleep those nights, knowing that I would be sleeping in a relatively comfortable temperature with all the blankets and pillows I could ever need. How I didn't have to worry about someone stealing my things as I slept, or whether or not one of the guys at a neighboring camp was going to set my camp on fire. I thought of how it is such a retreat for me, at the end of the day, to peacefully fall into slumber knowing that the next night I would end up in the same place.

Last night as I was crawling into my comfortable bed, I was reminded of these things, and thought about sleeping on the floor instead. I didn't. I woke up with the worst neck pains I've ever awakened to, and immediately thought of the fantastic company I was in across the world, and I was glad for those pains. Also, I think it's fairly necessary to realize that I hold sleep and good sleeping conditions in too high esteem, perhaps...

I biked today more than usual. I can't wait to live closer to where I study and work so I can do this all the time.

Liberation of the Schwinn. From my living room.

Just arrived at Panera after a wonderful bike ride here. My gears keep shifting on their own, which apparently means my derailer is broken. Thankfully I hear Billy will have the tools to fix that after Wednesday.

I stopped at Meijer before here to check out my lomographs-- turns out I have a thing or two to learn about lomography before I can create stunning lomographs. I'm okay with that.

The lady outside wants to start bike riding, but she lives in Centerburg. I have a feeling that is far away, so I'm wondering how she got here... Anyway, we both decided that bikes were going to become a lot more common as gas prices continually get outrageous.

Got to catch up with Mashel this morning in my parking lot. Her mom is graduating vli this Friday. I'm so excited for her! Judy is beautiful.

I ought to focus on al-Daif and Camus now... paper due tomorrow.


[edit] There are so many little children in Panera right now. Somehow they seem to have all settled closest to me. They have such loud opinions, these children! I like little kids, but right now I'm very much presented with an opportunity to grow in patience...

Soul

"Did anyone ever tell you that you look like a flower blossomed up from the ground?"
-Eric, West Broad

I should have been the one saying it to him.

Snippets of things like my morning

In every direction I look there is a book I have started. I could make a game out of that, like close my eyes and spin around and pick up a book, reading where I last left off.

I got farther on this morning's run than I have before. I think it is because I have been more consistent. I'm still horrible at running, but I reached that point today where it doesn't suck anymore and I felt detached from gravity and things that keep me attached to the ground. So for a big stretch I felt some brand of invincible, whatever that may be, and I recommend that feeling.

What I really need is a good bike ride, because I was washing dishes in the kitchen a couple days ago and my Schwinn whispered to me that he misses his friend Concrete.

Oh. That doesn't work anymore, because Schwinn's home moved from the kitchen to the living room. That's too bad, I liked where that was going.

My passport arrived! Praise God! Thank you for your prayer.

Would I have been this excited if He chose to do something else with my summer, other than what I was expecting?

I had the best time with my mom last night drowning in paperwork, questioning our sanity, being startled, having small creatures on my parent's deck staring at me (Namely, raccoons), and baking cookies at 11pm.

Last night before sleeping I steadied my lomo on my bed frame and tried to capture the orange glow. I took two lomographs :) of it, and I think the first will be interesting. The shutter was open for the longest time. The second was pretty quick, but it collected enough light. Later I'll play with multiple exposures.

I just think this interdependent verse memorizing is so beautiful and funny. My part really needs the girls' part to make more sense. Let's hear it for needing eachother.

Alex Talks: My iTunes just turned on The Spill Canvas (One Fell Swoop), and it makes me think of summer and you.